June Bugs Him

You think you've got problems? Imagine you're the richest man in the world. Sounds rough already, right? And yet, it gets worse. 

First, you get into a tiff with your bestie, another petulant jerk with money and power, but you've got more money, and he's got more power, but neither you has enough of either to satisfy your boundless lust for validation and praise. Anyway, it's the usual stuff. You imply he's a sex offender, he threatens to cancel your government contracts, because it turns out he's the head of a government or something. You recant and try to make up, but it's never going to be the same as the good old days when the two of you bonded over dislike of immigrants. Unless they're rich. 

Then, later the same month, your rocket ship explodes. This sucks because you keep talking about a human mission to Mars, a cold, dusty place without breathable air or potable water, but all you really need is a tree and one of those fridges with a tap, and things'll be fine. 

Finally, still in the same month, your revolutionary, ballyhooed and totally nifty AI program that took hundreds of millions of dollars to develop starts receiving harsh criticism for its alleged inaccuracy and poor sourcing from, of all people, the richest man in the world, who happens to be, you just remembered, you. 

Life really isn't fair. Think of all the better things you could be doing. For instance, the Gates Foundation estimates it would require about $100 billion to eradicate malaria. Between you and the second richest man in the world, that figure represents less than 20% of your collective fortunes. You could probably come up with the 100 bil by yourself if you didn't want to give jungle book guy the satisfaction of contributing. But you had to go and choose the nobler, more difficult route. The unsafe electric car and government cuts route. The encourage white people to have more babies route. The make the world worse, but also have more babies route. This is your cross to bear. 

So while you're navigating this crazy world, worrying about money, job security, and burgeoning international conflict, spare a thought for a poor soul who never has to worry about any of those things, the world's richest man, who, through fault of his own, has experienced quite a difficult June. 

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