Her Majesty's A Pretty Nice Ghost
It is I, Queen Elizabeth the Twoth, recently departed monarch of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Turns out the old chestnut about ghosts appearing due to unfinished business is true and I'm living proof. Well, not quite living. I realize I, the Queen, reigned for a very long time and cast a prodigous shadow over the second half of the 20th Century as well as the first two decades of the 21st. I have many haters, but also many lovers. Wait, that last part came out wrong. How about this? Loads of you were, and remain, obsequious lickspittles who cared more about what your unctuous fawning would do for your careers than about me, the Queen. I, the Queen, can only assume some of you are responsible for the forlorn soundtrack heard in every Tesco, Co-op, and Poundland across the breadth of this sceptered isle. The same nine bloody miserable tracks play over and over from Penzance to Aberdeen, from Kingston Upon Hull to Haverfordwest...